I read a lot of manuscripts–some partials, first chapters, first 250 words, fulls and everything in between. I don’t read nearly as much as agents and editors but the difference is that the ones I read are ones I’m asked to analyze and discern how to fix what may be wrong.
I’ve noticed a pattern in what I’ve read to the point where I think it’s time for me to talk about the common mistakes I see new writers make–relative to writing young adult literature. I hope this helps!
1. Not focusing (or not focusing enough) on the main character in the first chapter so that the reader never really gets a sense of the character–thus making her/him unrelatable: I’ve seen a lot more focus on secondary characters for the purposes of trying to bring in backstory or an explanation as to why things are happening as they are. This dilutes the story and makes the main character less significant to the reader who also begins to question, “who is this story about?”
2. Introducing a love interest too soon or in the wrong way/in a clichéd way: I’ve read too many stories where the love interest has “amazing eyes” that draw the main character in. When they first meet she can’t stand him for whatever reason but she is haunted by “those eyes.” I’m certain I’ve read at least 6 versions of that this month alone. Find another way to introduce your love interest. Also–introducing your love interest too soon in the story can be detrimental. Too soon is any time before the reader is invested and ideally not in the first chapter. There are of course exceptions. In my opinion (I’m certain some will disagree–that’s why God invented the comments section), the reader needs to become invested in the protag before a love interest is introduced. We need to be fully on her/his side before we care about the people she/he cares about and or dislikes. And what about those exceptions? I think you CAN introduce the love interest early if the reader has no idea that he/she is the love interest. But, he/she must be introduced in a BIG way. He/she must make a huge and lasting impact on the protag, story and the reader–otherwise, what’s the point. If you can do that–you’re golden.
3. Lack of plot focus early on so the reader has no idea what the story is about or where its going by the 2nd, 3rd or even 4th chapter: I see a lot of this. The writer is fumbling through the story unsure of what to tell, how much to tell, how much backstory to offer, what’s important, what’s not and it does come through on the page. Believe me. The reader suffers through this uncertainty having to read page after page of, “uh–what’s this story about?” because frankly, the writer cannot pin down the plot and stay focused. The writer may not even be able to tell you what the story is about.
4. Limited, forced, awkward or unnecessary dialogue and exchanges: Sometimes it seems as if the writer has put in dialogue just to have dialogue. It is however, not relevant to the story or the particular scene–it’s just in there to be there. In my opinion, dialogue should reveal something about the character, story, emotional state, etc. Dialogue should never resemble useless banter between two or more people. When writing, ask yourself, “what is the purpose of this dialogue? Who should the dialogue be between? Will it make more of an impact if it’s between certain characters? How long does it need to be? Does the dialogue meet the above criteria–if not can I amend it so that it does?” If not–you need to cut the dialogue as it serves little purpose to the story and the reader.
5. Opening with mundane scenes usually set in equally mundane places: Examples are bedroom prepping to go to school, school hallway, dream, bathroom (long stares into the mirror as one contemplates the day). Seriously, if this is how your novel begins–please do not send it to me or anyone else for that matter. You’re a writer–write something more creative than this.
6. Amazing first chapter but rest of the work lacks development: There is so much emphasis today from agents and editors on nailing the “all-important” first chapter with the goal being to garner a request from said agent and or editor. What no one ever tells you is that you need to maintain that level of intensity throughout your pages, that is, keep them engaged–unless what’s the point? You cannot spend all of your time working to polish your first chapter while the rest of the book is an absolute disaster. You must strive for a balance which shows what you are capable of and allows for one to assess your grasp of voice, tension, pacing, character development, plot, theme, tone and overall storytelling. You will fail if you only focus on your first chapter.
7. The kitchen sink syndrome: Too much repetition, not enough creative thinking about how to present ideas, awkward sentences and sentence structure, actions not matching emotions, too wordy, lack of forethought.
8. Introduction of too many characters too soon many of whom are irrelevant to the progress of the scene or story: I’ve seen a few things in several instances which strike me as odd. The first I find most odd –introducing characters in the first paragraph who are never heard from again. The reader is led to believe that they are crucial to the story or main character’s quest and wait for them to re-appear chapter after chapter but they never do. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? PLEASE STOP. This is an emotional sabotage for the reader. The other thing I’ve seen is the introduction of a cast of characters in the first chapter that is so vast the reader can’t keep up. This tends to happen when the setting is a school. This is confusing and the reader hardly knows who’s important and who isn’t. Make it easy on them. Eliminate some of those characters. You don’t need so many.
9. Too many scenes which fail to move the story forward: I see a lot of scenes that look as if they could be completely removed or as if they are from a totally different book or story. I scratch my head wondering why the scene is in there and oftentimes the writer cannot respond with an answer that makes sense. I guess if something seems like a good idea at the time, continue to challenge yourself as a writer. Ask the difficult question. Be your FIRST critique partner. Don’t wait until someone else points out something which may not be working and whatever you do, don’t fall in love with a scene or character because they may have to go!
10. Lack of authentic experience for the reader: If you have situations in your story that require research, take the opportunity to inquire. Don’t assume you know medical or police procedure for example. If you have a courtroom scene (as I do in one of my novels), don’t assume you know criminal law because you watch it on TV. If you have a character being admitted to the hospital or one who is in the morgue and needs to be identified–find out what the procedure is for doing such a thing. If you get it wrong, you will be called to the carpet on it. Yes, this is fiction but making up stuff like that is not part of the equation.
11. “And then” syndrome: “I looked over at him and he smiled. Then I went to class. Then class was over. Then we went home. At home I had dinner and then I went to my room. I did my homework. I hate homework. I went to sleep. I woke up the next more and went to school.” A linear sense of events is great. But you need to find a creative way to present the story so it’s not like, “this happened and then this happened.”
12: TMI–TOO MUCH INFORMATION: Oh man, I really dislike this one. If your novel reads like a report to your parole officer, look out. “I woke up then walked over to my dresser and took out my comb and brushed my hair. After brushing my hair, I couldn’t decide what to wear so I sat on my bed and wondered if I should wear the new outfit Mom got me for my birthday or the one I got to pick out when we went school shopping. I really love school shopping….”
PLEASE stop writing like this. No one wants to read this. You don’t want to write this. You are better than this. Get out your favorite YA book–a recent one. Read the first 3 chapters. Now read yours. Think about what strikes you about the first three chapters of the other book and what you can improve in yours. Is there enough tension? Is there adequate pacing? Have you nailed the voice? What about the story so far? Is the plot clearly defined? You can do this. Everyone starts somewhere and I was where you are now at one point. The good news is, I’m passing what I’ve learned on to you. And you know what? I’m still learning. I learn more every single day–about how to be a better writer, editor, revisionist and reader.
I see so many creative ideas with a lot of potential that just need someone to help the author see how to make it shine. Missed opportunities to ramp up tension, lack of direction and a failure to embrace traditional writing techniques are the biggest problems I see.
I could go on but I think I’ve burst enough bubbles for today. My advice to you is this: You are the first line of defense in the “fix” for your novel. While people like me are hired to look at the work with a critical eye and make suggestions for improvement, not everyone has access to pro editors and pro critiques. You have to be able to look at your work not as the writer/creator but as the harshest critique out there. Challenge your motivations, decisions and ultimately every word on the page. I promise you will end up with a far better work than you ever dreamed.
Write well-
Georgia
Great post, Georgia. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks! I found your post helpful and insightful
There’s so much assimilate as a new writer. I believe all of these patterns stem from a few new-writer conditions: not being patient enough to comb through the ms many times, not seeking help or else not paying attention to it when it’s given, not being grounded in how to craft a “good” story.
I speak from experience, and I still consider myself a new writer who’s prone to many errors.
I need to copy your post and put it next to all my other ADVICE pasted above my desk. Thanks.
So glad, Lee. I really do learn each time I pro crits. I don’t offer this advice to criticize but to help. I become much stronger and able to see shortcomings in my own work because of the work I do for others. Write well. xoxo
Great post, Georgia. You hit my current struggle with #1. But…reading it also has given me an idea. Thank you.
That’s awesome, Sheri. Really glad the post has helped inspire you and helped you overcome a shortcoming in your work. You can do it. Write well. xoxo
Great post, Georgia. ALmost scary to read. I kept thinking, “Am I doing that?” It makes a good checklist too for writers to look at before clicking “print.” I just posted it on Facebook and plan to share it with the Charlotte SCBWI critique group.
I am working on my first MG novel and found this post extremely helpful. Thanks!
Thanks, Georgia. We can’t hear these important checkpoints too many times. And now I’m off to cut, cut, cut. And ramp, ramp, ramp.
Very helpful post, Georgia! Thanks.
GREAT BLOG! I chuckled, I groaned, I related.
LOVE this! Thanks so much.
WOW! This post should be printed and placed near every WIP in America. Us “Newbie Writers” appreciate it immensely!
In agreement with Carol, as I read each suggestion I cringed at the thought of how many times I made (?) and (?) mistake. Ugh! Disheartening? Yes, but I’m a firm believer that knowledge is power, and in my opinion you can’t get any better than this! So {{{THANKS}}} a million for sharing these writing no-no’s.
This is a great post- thanks for the reminders!
Wow, GREAT post! So helpful. Now I have to go fix my work.
Wonderful advice, thanks for posting it. I will use it as a check list!
Wandered over here from Confessions From Suite 500, and I’m glad I did.
My favorite piece of advice? “Be your FIRST critique partner.” Chances are, if something’s rubbing you wrong, it needs fixin’. You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you to change it before you do.
Wonderful post. Great advice. It fit so well with my post today that I linked to it. Every newbie needs to read this.
Superb advice. Thank you
You had me at “haunted by those eyes.” LOL. Thank goodness I didn’t do that at least.
Awesome post Georgia!
I went to Suzie Townsend’s blog and found a link to yours! You are completely right, and I sense the same irritation I get when I review too much. I write the same comments to people all the time (not that I’m a perfect writer).
Your post is true and very helpful. I’m revising a YA novella and needed to be reminded of some things. Thanks!
Love this post!
Great stuff here–thanks for posting it! Should be required reading.
First time coming to your blog and the information you provided was invaluable. Thanks.
This is a great list. I especially agree with the point about boring beginnings, although I usually tell people who have trouble writing down anything at all to start with them only so that they can get something on the page. Eventually, they’ll reach a point where they won’t need to start first drafts with boring beginnings, but sometimes starting with a no-no helps ideas flow and helps the writer reach a point that would be a more ideal beginning.
Great post.
Most of what you’ve pointed out is present in new writers of most genres.
TMI – I agree 100%. What I like to keep in mind is the reader does not need to know every single detail in a scene. They will fill it in for themselves. I find to much detail makes then scene loose impact. I always keep this in mind when editing. I’m guilty for adding too much when writing the first draft but later on, most is removed.
Fabulous post – thank you Georgia. Really really helpful!!
Thanks very much. I will write well.